Alone

It's a Friday night and I'm as alone as I get in my own house.  It's just me, a pay-per-view chick flick and my three dogs.  This time of the night, the dogs are basically area rugs.  They are mastiffs and pretty much refrain from lifting their own body weight after 7 pm.  So I sit, well protected, to spend a little time by myself.  And breathe. 
My day started with a 4:30 am wake up call from my 3 year old.  In an attempt to get a bit more sleep, we opted to let him climb into our bed.  This is always tempting in the middle of the night, but do not be fooled, NO ONE is going to feel rested come sun up.  And we did not.  The rest of the day was a blur of movies, administering antibiotics to my entire family after a diagnosis of strep throat and my vain attempts at clutter busting. 
I used to savor nap time as my own.  But recently my husband has started working from home and I'm still adjusting to it.  During the day this means that someone is here to roll their eyes at my trashy TV and toss judgemental "are you really still on the couch" glances my way.  Yes, I'm still on the couch watching Project Runway.  If you had the morning I had and was still able to orchestrate the most beautiful of all motherly acheivements, The Trifecta Nap, then you would reap your much deserved couch time too. 
So tonight, when I mentioned a movie that I wanted to watch and hubby decided he'd rather read than be subjected to Kate Hudson for even a minute, I did not protest.  Didn't suggest an alternative movie.  Just decided that tonight, I'd be alone. 
Alone with my computer, alone with my movie, alone with myself.  It feels nice.  It feels soothing.  Like I'm taking care of myself in a way I rarely do. 
Tomorrow is a whole new day.  A full one at that.  And even if it starts at 4 am with a knee in my ribs, as it just might, I will feel a bit better for just having taken a bit of time alone and enjoying it.  And enjoying breathing.