Up! Unfortunately.

It's now 6:39 A.M.  A perfectly respectable time to get up in the morning.  That would have been awesome if that is when I actually got up.  I've been up since 4.  Ugh. 

Now to give you the full perspective on this, you have to know that I am a nursing mother.  With a baby who doesn't understand the concept of sleeping through the night.  K is almost a year old.  He's had about 4 long stretches.....in his life.  A typical night has me awake 2-4 times, his average stretch being 3 hours. 

I'm tired. 

All.

The. 

Time. 

And I have two more kids under 5 to take care of.  I will readily admit that sometimes "taking care of" means a day of movies and snacks while mama lays on the couch trying to recover. 

Normally my goal is for the baby to get through the night without screaming and waking the rest of the house up.  To that end, I nurse him when he wakes up.  I know that he doesn't need to eat, but it's easier and I'm tired.  And I also know that this has created a habit that I'm going to have to break.  Got it, thanks. 

The secondary concern for being up that many times is getting sleep inbetween wakings.  I leave all the lights off and navigate my house like I have radar.  I manage to stay in a bit of a stupor and return to my bed often unable to remember how many times I was up during the night. 

But today was one of the frustrating days where I returned to my bed completely unable to fall back asleep.  I tossed and turned.  Jotted down notes that I will be unable to comprehend because I can't manage to write well in the dark.  Contemplated getting in a workout and finally stumbled out to my computer. 

I figure if I can't sleep I may as well get something done.

Facebook-check
(I'm on PST so at least I have plenty of friends 3 hours ahead of me)

Email-check

Window shop new Gymboree line-check

Upload new pictures-check

And finally...

Blog-check. 

It's now 6:51 and my family will wake soon.  The lights will come on.  The cartoons and whining will start.  The dogs will beg for breakfast and my husband will rush around frantically looking for clean laundry.  But for now, it's quiet, save for a snoring dog.  The snow is falling and I am alone.  And while I'd still rather be sleeping, I'm trying to appreciate the gift of a bit of time to myself.  The lull before the storm.  A beautiful storm.